রোজ রাতে আমার ঠোঁটে যেন দুটো ঠোঁট আলতো করে নিজের ছোঁয়া লাগিয়ে মিশে যায়। প্রতিবার চোখ খুলে খুঁজতে চেষ্টা করেছি, তাকিয়ে খালি দেখেছি সিলিং আর সিলিং-এর বুকে পাখা। তাই এখন আর চোখ খুলি না। ছোঁয়াটা থেকে যায়, ঠোঁট মিলিয়ে যায়, মুখ পড়ে না মনে। জীবনে কত মানুষই তো এলো, গেছে সবই প্রায়। সকালে যে শহরের চেনা-অচেনা ব্যস্ততা দেখে বিষণ্নতা বুকে বাজে, সেটা রাত্রে এসে মনে করায় শূন্যতাকে, একাকিত্বকে।

সন্ধেবেলা ক্লান্তি ঠেলে যখন সেই নিজের বানানো পোড়া লাগা ঝিঙে পোস্ত আর মাইক্রোওয়েভে গরম করা বাসি ভাত প্লেটে ঢালি, মায়ের কথা বড্ড মনে পড়ে। আজকাল বড্ড নিজেকে স্কুলের প্রথম দিনের বাচ্চাদের মতন লাগে। মায়ের কাছে যাওয়ার কথা মনে পড়ে, মাছের ঝোল দিয়ে ভাত খেতে ইচ্ছে করে, বাবার সাথে বাজারে গিয়ে রুই-কাতলা দরদাম করতে ইচ্ছে করে। নিজের অসফল খাবারের প্লেটের দলাগুলো মুখে নিয়ে একমনে ভেবে যাই এসব। আচ্ছা, মা খেয়েছে তো? আর বাবা? ওষুধপত্র ঠিক করে খায় তো? দুজনেরই তো হাই প্রেসার, বাবার আবার কোমরে স্পন্ডিলাইটিস, মায়ের পায়ে আর্থরাইটিস। বুড়ো-বুড়ি দুটোর জন্য খুব মন কেমন করে।

ছোট ছিলাম তখন, ভেবেছিলাম এই পৃথিবীটা এতোই বড়, সবটা দেখতে হলে পাখি হতে হবে। পাখি হয়েছি। পাখি হয়ে ঘর ছেড়েছি। ছেড়েছি আরো অনেক সুখ, মনের মানুষ, রাগ-বিরাগের আবেগ, মান-অভিমানের লোকজনদের, কঠিন কত সম্পর্ক, মিষ্টি কিছু ভালোবাসা, মন ছুঁয়ে যাওয়া কত বন্ধুত্ব... সবকিছু পাখি হবো বলে। এই এতো বড় পৃথিবীতে প্রচুর পাখি ওড়ে ঠিকই, সবার কি নাম হয়? সবার কি ঠিকানা হয়?

দিনের শেষে সব পাখি বাড়ি ফেরে। ঘরে ফেরার দিন কি সব ফেরত আসে? মানুষ গুলো, মুখ গুলো, আবেগ গুলো, ইচ্ছে গুলো, ভালোলাগা গুলো, ঝগড়া গুলো... সবটা না হোক কিছুটা কি ফিরে পাওয়া যায়? কেউ কি সদর দরজায় দাঁড়িয়ে বলবে “এসো মা, ঘরে এসো”? কে জানে!

Apps Suck

Labonno was rolling on the floor. Parul was not expecting her to react this way. She was expecting Labonno to be more sympathetic towards her predicament about dating apps. Labonno took couple weeks before visiting Parul again.

In the meantime, Parul has matched with quite a few men. But almost all of them has either ghosted her, or turned out to be some kind of creep.

“You are such a cute little girl”, Labonno was kicking her feet up. “You know, I’m almost 24 now. I’m not so little, it has been like 8 years since we met.”

“There, there” Labonno was on her feet again patting Parul’s head. “You are just hopeless when it comes to talking to men. Also… a bit… desperate” Labonno said the last part very carefully.

“But I am desperate.” Parul said meekly, “At least, that’s honest.”

“Sure,” Labonno said, “But not everyone needs to know that, you just need to find a man also desperate enough to marry you.”

Parul bit her lips. She was not sure whether the last part was an insult or just a fact. Labonno can be very blunt sometimes. Parul decided to get clarity on something that has been bothering her for

– “Labonno” – “Yes” – “Do you have a partner?” – “I don’t run a business.” – “I mean like are you single or taken” – “Why do you need to know?” – “Just trying to figure out whether you can actually help or not.” – “You asked for my help, It was not my idea.” – “I know, I was just, I don’t know, you don’t seem like the type who likes men.” – “Well, I don’t” – “So, like how can you help me get a match with a man?”

Labonno laughed again, it was a hearty laughter.

“Why does it matter? All relationships are essentially the same thing”.

Parul was flabbergasted. This was not what she was expecting. “How do you mean, they are the same?” She asked back.

“Well, if you look at it, all relationships require someone to take care of the house and someone to earn a living. The genders of the partners might change, but the roles stay the same” Labonno replied.

– “That’s kinda regressive, what if both of them work? and divide on the chores?” – “Yeah, that happens, albeit rare. But that’s more like roommates with benefits than a marriage. People generally marry for three reasons: one, to get a free labourer for home while they advance their career two, Someone to breed their lineage with three, To climb to a higher social status by virtue of marrying into it or through their kid. For you the men won’t get the second two options. You are much more likely to get a husband sooner if you are to be a homemaker trophy women. Men tend to like younger women, and you are conventionally pretty.”

Parul only heard the part ‘conventionally pretty’ and has already blocked out whatever Labonno said beforehand.

“Hihi thankssss” Parul was giddy. She handed her phone over to Labonno, “You are the expert, do whatever you want. Get me a match”

“You only heard the pretty part, didn’t you?” Labonno was laughing. “You trans women are so traditional and detached from any kinda feminist ideology.”

– “Labonno…”, Parul was more put together now. – “Yes, Parul” – “You make a lot of sweeping generalisations” – “Yes, those are fun to make in jest, but all situations and people must be treated as a case by case basis. It is just easier to generalise when you personally don’t know them. Like for people on the internet” – “I don’t get it, but it’s okay, I am a dumb woman anyway” – “Parul”, Labonno’s face was stern. “You are now forbidden from making self-deprecating jokes. You are not dumb and never had been.” – “Whatever you say” Parul was covering her smile with her hands. She was not sure about the feelings in her belly. It was like a queasy feeling but something that didn’t feel ill. Parul chalked it up to her bad eating habits.

Labonno sat with Parul for the next three hours sorting through various matches in a few dating apps. The men there were pretty quick to reply. However, many of them unmatched quickly as soon as they realised Parul is a trans woman. Quite a few just flat out asked if she is a prostitute and if she is, what would be her charges for a night. Labonno grimaced and was trying to hex them, but she didn’t know enough personal information about the men to do that.

Some of the men agreed that they are fascinated by trans women and kept praising how brave Parul is. But Labonno again unmatched straight away with those men and that created a fight between her and Parul. Labonno was insistent those men are just fetishising the experience of Parul, but Parul refused to agree. Labonno eventually heaved a sigh of disbelief and said, “You know what, it would serve you best if you experienced some of these things yourself, who am I to deny you trauma you are set to inflict upon yourself?”

Soon enough, Parul was inundated with questions like whether she has ‘the surgery’ or not, how big her penis is, and whether a man sucking on Parul’s dick would make him gay even though Parul is a trans woman.

Quite a large number of straight men were expecting Parul to fuck them and that was making Parul question her own femininity. Labonno refused to engage. She said, “I’m not your mother, you need to navigate this yourself.” She seemed a bit aloof to Parul, who was getting anxious at the detachment of Labonno.

Labonno did point out that subby straight men are normal and getting pegged doesn’t demean either their masculinity or Parul’s femininity. Parul just comes with pegging machinery pre-attached. But Parul was quite distracted and dysphoric and was on the verge of crying.

“I don’t go on dating apps for this, I never have a good experience” Parul was almost sobbing.

Labonno hugged Parul from behind. She didn’t say anything this time. It was a tight hug with a lot of warmth. Labonno’s head was near Parul’s shoulder and she could feel Labonno’s warm breath in her neck. Parul held Labonno’s hand and broke down in silent cries.

Labonno didn’t offer any words of comfort, but she also didn’t say “I told you so”. She was just there, holding Parul, while she was having a breakdown after a very long time. Parul hated feeling vulnerable around other people. Especially Labonno. She wanted Labonno to make some sarcastic comments, but Labonno didn’t. Parul lost track of time for how long she was crying. Eventually when she got herself together, and withdrew herself from Labonno’s arms, Labonno softly said, “Go wash you face, I’m gonna prepare some food for you”

Parul wanted to argue and say she doesn’t need her, but no words came out. She did manage to say eventually that she isn’t really feeling any appetite at all. But Labonno rebuffed her. She took out a pouch from somewhere on her person that Parul has never seen before. “I’m making a special tea for you. Trust me, you’ll feel better and will get back the appetite. Now go to the bathroom.”

Parul took a bit of time in the bathroom, and when she came back, Labonno was still preparing the tea. She took out a highball glass Parul forgot she had. It now had water, and a herb with thin pointy blade like leaves, and purple leaves in the stem. It looked scary.

“That doesn’t look like a tea” Parul was trying to converse casually as if she didn’t have a breakdown over dating apps a few minutes back.

“Not yet”, Labonno said calmly. “This is Chiretta, it takes overnight to prepare. If you boil, it will have different properties.”

“Am I supposed to drink it tomorrow?” Parul was thinking of flushing it down the toilet the next morning.

“You forget you are with a witch, this is a simple magic” Labonno said calmly.

“All magic is about equivalent exchange, If I need to harness the power of natural energy, I need to offer something in return, as an accelerant.” Labonno said as matter of fact, that Parul couldn’t really understand.

“I don’t think I have ever seen you use magic other than teleporting” Parul was curious.

Labonno did a curt nod. “Well there is always a first time for everything. But shush now, I need to concentrate. Magic is also about intentionality”

Parul sat down on a chair with wide eyes like a child. The excitement of seeing magic made her forget about the breakdown she had.

Labonno was uttering somethings in a tone of whisper that Parul could not make out. Labonno whispered it for some time, and eventually she took out her right hand and bit on the tip of her ring finger. Blood drops that looked like glistening rubies gathered on the pointy nail that Labonno had on her ring finger. Then she put just the tip of the nail into the water. The blood instantly got mixed with the water but instead of it being brown or red in colour, it glowed with a shimmer. Labonno kept rotating her finger inside the glass in a circular motion and soon enough a whirlpool was forming inside the glass. Yet the herb looked like it was in still water but aging quickly. The glow eventually stopped. The water has become quite murky and dark greenish, and the herbs were not really visible anymore. Some of it was floating and looked a bit slimy.

“Drink this” Labonno offered the glass to Parul. Parul took a sip and instantly was aghast. “It’s so bitter” Parul muttered.

“It is. It is called the king of bitters, but it is very useful. I collect it from a friend. It has become quite rare now. Don’t waste it, it costs an arm and leg, you can pinch your nose while you drink it.” Labonno seems excited about the herb.

Parul didn’t want to drink it a bit, but she also didn’t wanna disappoint Labonno. She pinched her nose and chugged the bitter murky water in one go. Labonno took out the slimy looking herbs. “I have also fixed some khichdi for you, I remember it being your comfort food”

“Labonno…” Parul began to speak. Labonno was looking at her with a gaze of care Parul hasn’t seen for a long time. “These apps fucking suck, but I think, with you on my side, it might just suck a little less.”

Many things.

One such thing is the “di” and the “da” Not dida. Di and Da.

The custom of marking who popped out of a vagina before you by an honorific. A mark of respect for the coincidence that the other person was born before you.

It does not matter what they did with their life.

It does not matter what personality they have.

Bully, cruel, asshole. Whatever that person might be. Our culture says that the main thing to remember is who was born before. And that should be the metric for assumed and automatic respect.

I hate it. I do not want automatic respect because I was born before someone else. I do not want to give automatic respect to someone because they were born before me.

Getting birthed before someone is not an achievement. It isn't merit.

No “da”. No “di”. That's what I want freedom from.

There are bigger things: patriarchy, capitalism, colonialism, brahmanism, etc. I want freedom from. But hey on the way, lose the da and the di. Respect all for their actions. Or don't. I am not the boss of you!

-Bhumika Arya, M.Sc. Economics and Analytics

Christ University, NCR

India is home to the world's largest tribal population, with 697 tribal groups and communities across the country (as per the Anthropological Survey of India). Each tribal group is distinct and has its own culture, art, handicrafts, and other distinctive characteristics, as well as a very sustainable and environmentally beneficial way of living. Indian tribes have a lot of potentials to be excellent entrepreneur assets to the Indian economy because of their rich culture and art, therefore making them a crucial element of the workforce for economic progress. Tribal handicrafts not only display tribal craftspeople’s unique culture but also provide a source of income for them. What distinguishes tribal handicraft from modern handicraft is that tribal artisans create their art and handicraft using resources from their indigenous lands and surroundings, which not only make tribal handicraft unique but also demonstrates how local resources can be used to their full potential by the creativity and culture of these tribal artists. Despite their rich art and handicrafts, tribal artisans and entrepreneurs have failed to reach their expected efficient growth over the decades after independence. One of the main reasons is scheduled tribes being the economic and social minorities and facing discrimination by the majority and privileged members of society for decades during and after colonial rule. Machine made products always have had an edge over the hand made product industries, this is mainly because of such products having good quality and being less costly as compared to hand made products. In this era of capitalisation and consumerism, fast fashion brands have taken over the traditional industries of art, fashion, clothes and jewellery. Everything is being produced at bulk level for consumers by these brands, mainly because they employ large capital and machineries which makes their products efficient and also large production costs less. Consumerism has increased the demand for each and every product and services. Brutal competition faced by fast fashion and mainstream brands: Tribal artisans, are expected to face brutal competition from fast fashion brands, this is mainly because, fast fashion brands have huge capital invested, larger parts of markets are already captured by them, it becomes immensely hard for tribal entrepreneurs to set their foot in this competition and their survival. How Tribal Entrepreneurs can help in the economic growth of India? Entrepreneurs are vital to the economy because they aid in the acceleration of economic growth by uniting the forces of production to produce goods and services. Any economy must develop a sense of entrepreneurship in its citizens for the country's resources to be utilized to their full potential. Understanding of Tribal economy can help us understand the economic and entrepreneurship behaviors concerning Indian Tribes, helping government in creating and implementing policies for SSIs n Tribal population and sensitizing consumers to include tribal products and services in their consumption. In terms of India's economic history, we can see how trade played a significant role in India for numerous centuries, even before the advent of western industrialization. All over Asia and some areas of Africa, India is known for its commerce in traditional handicrafts, art, and jewellry. Indian tribes and artisans have been playing an important role as producers of handicrafts ever since the ancient period. Before independence, Indian handicrafts (including tribal handicrafts) were in big demand across the countries. During colonial period, these industries were destroyed by british government’s Discriminatory tariff policies and Systematic deindustralisation. After independence India tried to gain back its tribal economy and handicraft industries, through many plans and policies. Government funds have been allocated for tribal development in almost every 5 year plans, mainly focusing on increasing the productivity and conditions of tribal farmers and their indigenous farming practices and helping them in training and skill development programmes Tribal artisans hold vast cultural assets in form of art, in this era of brutal competition in globalisation, it’s very easy for non-tribal brands to copy tribal designs and sell, which makes tribal entrepreneurs vulnerable and at risk, as their own art may not belong to them as some Big brand companies already took copyrighted claims over the designs. So it becomes very important to educate tribal entrepreneurs on their rights, and how they can have copyrights and patents over their cultural art, designs and products. Indian tribal entrepreneurs have a lot of potential, skills, and talent, and the growth of Indian tribal entrepreneurship is good for the Indian economy, societal norms, and it also means that Indian tribal culture, art, and skills will be preserved. Despite all of this, they continue to struggle to exist in global marketplaces. They are susceptible and at risk of failing to survive in the market due to competition from large firms. In addition to being protected by numerous rules, tribal entrepreneurs must also develop their abilities to keep up with the changing digital world and receive consumer support in order to maintain a secure position in the market. Investors must recognise tribal business talent and future opportunities before investing in their ideas and businesses. All of these can ensure the holistic growth of India's tribal tribes, as well as the development of this nation's marginalized sect. Consumers need to educate themselves to make better consumer decisions and buy from tribal artists instead of buying tribal products stolen from big and foreign brands. Support should be given to tribal artisans on online platforms and online selling websites, to better create sensitization among consumers. Moreover legal aid should be given to tribal artisans and entrepreneurs if they see other brands copying their designs and art. Angel investors and the public can play an important role to invest in the business ideas of tribal people and help their business to grow and be able to compete at nationals and international level. Capital funding and easy availability of credit through online methods need to be made accessible to tribal artisans and entrepreneurs for their business.

References

1. Mitra, A. (2008). The status of women among the scheduled tribes in India. Journal of Socio-economics, 37, 1202-1217.
2. Subramanyam, P.V. (2020). Social Exclusion, Inclusion, Integration and Development of Tribes in India: Anthropological Holistic Perspective.
3. Meena, Ms. & Chaturvedi, Ankita & Gupta, Sachin. (2021). OPPORTUNITIES IN TRIBAL ENTREPRENEURSHIP & MSMES.
4. Srivastav, Nirankar & Syngkon, Rickey. (2010). Marketing Management and Entrepreneurship Development in a Tribal Dominated Economy: A Case Study of Small Scale Industries in East Khasi Hills District of Meghalaya, India. SSRN Electronic Journal. 10.2139/ssrn.1817302.
5. Dr. Devath Suresh (2014) TRIBAL DEVELOPMENT THROUGH FIVE YEAR PLANS IN INDIA – AN OVERVIEW.
6. D.C. Sah, Ashish Bhatt, Tapas K. Dalapati (2008) CHRONIC POVERTY IN REMOTE RURAL AREAS
7. Ram Pravesh (2016) CHALLENGES AND OPPORTUNITIES OF TRIBAL ENTREPRENEURSHIP IN INDIA
8. Holt, D. B. (2002). Why Do Brands Cause Trouble? A Dialectical Theory of Consumer Culture and Branding. Journal of Consumer Research, 29(1), 70–90. https://doi.org/10.1086/339922 Neha Sharma, and Dr. Ruchi Goyal. (2017). “PRADHAN MANTRI JAN DHAN YOJANA (PMJDY) – A CONCEPTUAL STUDY.”International Journal of Research – Granthaalayah, 5(4), 143-152. Ministry of Tribal Affairs- Government of India https://tribal.nic.in

Harder than it looks.

Parul has never been more frustrated with witches and their shenanigans more in her life. In the last month alone Labonno has teleported unannounced inside the house multiple times a week. She seems enthusiastic about matching Parul up with a man.

“You know, I have read bloodsuckers are nicer, they ask before they get inside a house.” Parul has scorned at Labonno once.

“Well bloodsuckers don’t wait around to collect their debts” Labonno snapped back.

Parul didn’t say anything, it was already worse that Labonno was invading her private space more than normal. She didn’t wanna start an argument again.

“Why are you sending that hand icon as soon as you get a match? that makes you look lazy and desperate.” Labonno said looking over Parul’s shoulder. Parul was just swiping on a dating app.

“I mean what else am I supposed to do?” Parul asked meekly.

“Don’t text them first. Ever” Labonno was stern. “You are looking for a husband. Not a lover.”

Parul wasn’t expecting this line of thought from Labonno. “Are they separate? I thought you marry someone you love.”

Labonno was chuckling. “No silly girl, you marry for social status, not love. If people married for love, the world would have been very different.”

“I’m sorry, I wish to be married to someone who loves me. That’s the dream of every girl.” Parul retorted.

Labonno laughed. It was a dry laughter. As if she was frustrated with the naïveté of Parul. “Do I need to remind you that you were not even planning to get married, you wanted a husband to get the adoption process going.”

“Yes, but since I’m getting married, I thought…” Parul interjected but Labonno cut her off. “I’m not done.” Labonno continued, “Your government allows couples to adopt, that is the social status you get from being married. Your focus should be getting my debt paid off. Not side quests like love.” Labonno took a pause but held up the right index finger to not let Parul cut in. “Also, you don’t find love when you seek it out. You need love to find you. Which is not gonna be possible for you given how you spend all your days cooped up in this tiny home”

Parul had no words to say. Labonnos words cut deep, but at the same time there wasn’t any lies in what she said. Parul couldn’t argue back so she decided to focus more on the app and started swiping aggressively.

Soon enough, the app showed a message saying Parul has exhausted all her available free swipes and whether she would like to buy a premium subscription to continue swiping. Parul heaved a sigh of frustration.

“Maybe I should buy a subscription.” Parul said to herself. She then turned to Labonno and said, “Maybe it’s time for you to go, there’s nothing more gonna happen. I ran out of swipes and I’m not gonna pay money for matches”

Labonno didn’t say anything. She just teleported with a crack. Parul heaved a sigh of defeat and lied down on the floor. Trying to get a match while someone was looking over her shoulder has given her a lot of anxiety and it was only now dawning on her that this situation is likely to get even worse.

Parul didn’t realise how long it has been till she got a notification from her phone. A match has texted her back.

Parul looked at the message from the notification. It said, “girl you look hella fine, what do I do to call you mine?”

Parul cringed at the message, and instantly took a screenshot of the notification to send it to Labonno before realising that witch doesn’t use a smartphone.

Parul opened the app, and quickly typed, “Awwwwwwww, you can put a ring on me, and call me whatever you want.”

As soon as she sent the text, the match started typing. the three dots kept popping up and down for a good amount of five minutes. Vanishing in the middle for couple times. The waiting was crucifying. Parul’s mind raced around to figure out what possibly could he be writing that takes so much time. After a while a sole word popped up.

“Bet”.

Parul was confused. All that typing to write just this? She didn’t know what to write back to this message. She thought for a bit, and typed out, “I don’t mind if you take me to dinner first though.” and hit send.

She immediately got the response from the app that “You can’t send messages to this person anymore”. It took a bit of time for Parul to realise she has been unmatched. Parul was angry now. Why bother writing something that you obviously don’t mean? She through her phone in frustration and decided to make herself a bowl of cereal. She kinda missed Labonno now. She really wanted to know how would Labonno react to this interaction. She hurried back to her phone again and picked it up to take a screenshot for reference. Then she realised the app deleted the chat as well when the dude unmatched. She was inside the chat window so the app couldn’t say anything to her face, but once she exited the app, it made sure to make it look like no such interaction occurred.

Parul went to the app store and gave the app a one star review out of spite. It was late. She needed to cook dinner. So she decided to be mature, and hurried off to peel vegetables. She was seething, but she was also looking forward to venting to Labonno.

A shady deal

parul never thought in her wildest dreams that witches are real. Let alone how persistent they could be. It was a moment of desperation when she made the deal. But now, in her dimly lit kitchen, Labonyo, the witch, was nursing a glass of goat milk and staring at her with judgemental eyes that felt like it was piercing her soul.

Parul was sixteen, homeless, living off scraps from local shops, and sleeping in benches in bus stops. She wanted to just live and no payment was too high. So when the witch asked for her firstborn in exchange for her getting to live a life she wanted, she agreed without hesitation. She wasn’t thinking of having a child in the first place. Parul saw love as a tool for patriarchy designed to control women. And as a self-made women, being in love felt like a bigger betrayal than cheating a centuries old witch out of a deal. She thought this as a bad credit card debt. She just never realised out of her naiveté that credit card companies also have hoodlums they call the debt collectors, and at this point, Labonyo was feeling less like a witch and more like a debt collector doing a home visit.

“Parul, were you always planning to cheat me out of our deal?” Labonyo’s words felt calculated. Parul wasn’t expecting a direct question like this. She fumbled and couldn’t come up with an answer.

“What is given, can be taken away” Labonyo added serenely, “All your progress can go away instantly, and you won’t be sixteen again either.”

“I didn’t mean to, I was just…” was all Parul could master before Labonyo cut her off.

“I know what you’re gonna say, ‘Oh i never wanted to fall in love, I can never have kids’ — I knew that. Your firstborn doesn’t have to be biological. Just someone who see you as a mother. All this time, and you still don’t think how much power our choices hold.” Labonyo took a big sip from her glass of milk.

“How can I adopt without being married? This is India, trans girls like us aren’t allowed to adopt” Parul mumbled.

“That seems like a you problem, Parul” Labonyo interjected. “You figure that shit out. I need my payment. I have been nothing but generous to you, but I simply can’t keep providing free service, can I?”

“I’m not asking you to provide free service…” Parul started to speak.

“Bitch, please, you were totally planning to default on the debt, I have lived for over five hundred years, I have seen stupid people like you who thinks they can scam a witch” Labonyo was not taking any excuses today.

“Okay fine, just help me get a date then, and I promise I will get an adoption process going as soon as i’m married and give you the baby when they turn seven, as promised” Parul begged.

“Your dating life is none of my business and no, I can’t keep helping you without anything in return. My other coven members are starting rumours and they are not good for my business.” Labonyo was dismissive as she took a bigger sip from the glass. She seemed distracted.

“Not help, just tips.” Parul was desperate. “You want this solved fast? Me too.” Parul took a pause. She was calculating her next words very carefully. “Not to self-victimise, but your debt calls aren’t nice. I’d really like if you didn’t just teleported in the middle of my kitchen any time you please. It’s unsettling”

“Again, not my problem” Labonyo seemed a bit irritated.

“You are also saying people are talking about how you can’t collect a debt.”

“Who is saying that? I have a perfect collection score” Labonyo seemed very agitated now.

“You just said your coven is saying stuff”

“That’s none of your business, and for your information, that’s not what they are saying. They’re just saying that I have been…” Labonyo bit her tongue in the middle of the sentence. “You don’t have to worry about what they are saying. This doesn’t concern you. You should only be worried about your debt to me.” Labonyo suddenly was very focused on her glass of milk.

“That’s what I’m saying” Parul was confused at the tone of Labonyo, but she was also seeing a chance she didn’t see before. “You are a very experienced woman, I just want tips on how to be a proper woman. You know I didn’t grow up socialising as one. you know, girls help each other.”

Labonyo didn’t say anything back. Parul continued, “Just help me be more feminine, help me with dating, if i get an adoption going in a year, you can be assured of my payment, and the rumours about you will also stop. It is a win-win for us”

“Don’t think I do not see what you are trying to do, I’m not stupid” Labonyo was surprisingly calm. “But yes, I do think this might be the best solution for me too.” She continued. “I will give you tips, but one year. If you are not engaged within a year, all bets are off”

And with that Labonyo teleported with a crack and without a goodbye. Parul heaved a sigh of relief. How in the world witches are real and why do they need your firstborn? Parul made a mental note to ask this to Labonyo the next time around.

Well, people who know me, knows that I swear by Tartan Noirs. So when I first heard that Val Mcbride’s epynomus character Karen Pirie was coming to the TV in 2022, I was over the moon.

Shetland had been one of my favourite recommendations for people getting into the genre, but after Karen Pirie’s explosive first season, I can say that Shetland has a very good competition now.

Karen Pirie is one of the main female crime solving characters created by the Modern Queen of Crime Val McDermid. I really like her writing because she incorporates feminist and queer themes from her lived experiences of being a radical feminist and a lesbian. So more often than not, her characters operates under the extra pressure of optics and patriarchy.

Karen Pirie is no different, her office nickname is Box Ticker, because the boys club in the police station considers her a dei hire. To be honest, In the first season she gets the job because she is a woman, and she is picked because the actual murdered, who is in a higher position in the police force, never really thought she could be up to the job.

I think it is safe to say that the first season of Karen Pirie exceeded all expectations so much so that, other streaming services scrambled to make their own version of cold case procedurals as soon as possible. Netflix came out with Department Q with Matthew Goode, and Prime literally cancelled Bosch: Legacy to give more value to their similar show Ballard with Maggie Q.

I was kinda sceptical with the second season of Karen Pirie to be honest. But this month I had been a bit ill, so I found that a good excuse to binge the whole of Season 2 in one go. It is again a three episode season with one and half hour episodes. And it retains the same structure of going back and forth in the past to the present.

Unlike last season, the victim this time is not a working class woman. It is about an heiress of one of the biggest oil baron of Scotland. Catriona Grant. James Cosmo, who you might know as ser Joer Mormont from Game of Thrones or as Farder Coram from His Dark Materials plays the role of the Grant family Patriarch with utmost believability. He has been so good that our blunt to a fault detective couldnt figure out what he could have been hiding.

This season was a lot more predictable, as the series progresses you could spot some of the chinks in the armour, and guess which direction the story is going. Yet, the ending will still surprise you.

This case opens up after a surprisingly well preserved dead body is found in an abondoned quarry. That man was in possession of Catriona’s car keys, which he used to kidnap her. A kidnapping that happened 40 years ago, in 1984. Karen did find out eventually that Catriona was already in on it on the kidnapping and asking for the ransom, but eventually they also find the dead body of hers as well, throwing all speculations out of the window.

This season is more about class war than anything else. The Grant family has secrets, and they would go to any lengths to keep them from coming out. It doesn’t also hurt that they have all the resources and the money to undercut the detectives and sabotage the investigations. They did it last time, and tried really hard this time as well. However, they did love their daughter and grandson, and would not have harmed them either. Grant’s businesses put multiple miners out of work, so it could have been about a revenge from the unionising miners as well, or could be the crime family that is known for their ruthlessness in Scotland.

I really like scottish productions. their cinematography is very beautiful and having picturesque small towns seem like an added bonus. There are a lot of new actors who I do not know, and that is honestly refreshing. Chris Jenks as Mint, or Karen’s new puppy is actually a very lovable himbo.

I also need to point out that when most american procedurals are basically copaganda, british shows often take the route to show how much corruption there is in the police force. Sure, Karen Pirie is not as dark and heartbreaking like Red Riding, or as hellbent against corruption as Line of Duty (fuck the last season), but it still shows the cracks quite clearly. However I do not like the fact that the show pushes one bad apple rhetoric. However, I guess I can look the other way since their portrayal of systemic racism in scotland is quite realistic.

Val wrote 8 novels about Karen, so I guess we can expect six more seasons to come. I do not mind waiting for couple years for new seasons, and I do think the breaks help a lot. I hope the show is renewed again.

I also like the politics of Val. Queerness in her writings exist as a matter of fact, and generally has no bearing on the story. Which is extremely refreshing in the claustrophobic queer tv show genre where everything rotates around it. Queer people are more than their sexuality, and I’m really glad the show stays true to the source material.

I do recommend you watch Karen Pirie. It doesn’t treat the audience as stupid, and often it shows the audience a lot more context about the characters than the detective without divulging any extra details. That is extremely hard to do and the show-runners deserve praise for executing that flawlessly. If you have liked procedurals like Shetland or Broadchurch, you’ll feel at home with Karen Pirie.

where is the trans movement?

Nothing is universal, but some trends are visible: NGOs are scared. Their funds are drying up or they know will dry up. Their ideas dried up some time back. They are trying to squeeze the dried up ideas to get some more juice (Rupees) out of funders. NGO leaders keep repeating that the community is not interested, not invested, as justification to not do anything other than what they have already been doing. They are literally having to bribe the community to attend their events. Events are mostly designed to be photo-ops that can be used to seduce funders. Learning, growing, being, becoming, these are hardly part of these workshops, trainings, and events.

The community is left in a lurch while agendas lacking courage are debated ad nauseam in meetings and conferences. The public is neither consulted nor informed.

We need a different style of movement. One that is distributed, leaderless, employs wide range of tactics, connects a wide range of ideas and demands beyond identity politics. We need movements – plural – in street corners, living rooms, offices, neighbourhoods. We deserve unruled movements. And no one else will give them to us.

Why does the queer community hate bisexuals, nonbinary people, and polyamorous people?

Before I proceed I should mention that my observations and conclusions are all anecdotal in nature based on my lived experience, and is in no way empiric. I am writing this piece to start conversations.

I was in a relationship with a trans man for almost 3 years. We bonded well and were compatible. But during this time both of us realised that we were polyamorous, and confided that to each other. I wasn't romantically interested in anyone except for him at that time despite being polyamorous, and I told him the same. We gave each other consent to date other people as well, given if we have a clear conversation about it first.

A month after this conversation, he broke up with me over text. Our mutual friends tell me that he has been dating another man for a while, and the other person was a better partner for him than I could ever be. I was devastated.

Unfortunately, I am not the only one who went through this. Many of my friends have been cheated on, with their then partners using polyamory or open relationships as an excuse to betray the trust of their partners.

As a polyamorous person, I know this isn't polyamory. This is lying, this is cheating, this betrayal. Polyamory is nothing but a flimsy shield. But my friends, who are monogamous, do not know that. They think that polyamorous people are liars who are hypersexual and won't hesitate to break hearts just to get their sexual fix. So my friends and other queer people develop a disdain of polyamorous people based on their negative experiences.

On top of that, some unethical polyamory practitioners treat minorities as a trophy, a game achievement. They become chasers for trans women and men and caste and religious minorities, approaching them with ideas of roleplay the person isn't comfortable with. The disdain grows.

Similary, some monosexual people hate bisexuals. They associate bisexuality with promiscuity and lying behaviour, because their bisexual partner cheated on them with a person of a different gender.

From the past discussions it should be evident that queer people are also prone to biases about fellow members of the community based on anecdotes. The same is for how some people think of nonbinary people.

India has been home of many identities that exist beyond the binary. On top of that, due to imposition by the state, some trans women and men consider themselves to be a “third gender”; and they can become fully a woman/ a man by undergoing bottom surgery and HRT. But, describing one's gender as “nonbinary” is relatively modern and confined to urban middle class queer circles. A lot of working class trans people feel betrayed when they see UC middle class nonbinary individuals being celebrated for their transness even though they haven't done any meaningful work to uplift the members who are in the grassroots. This betrayal develops into bias, that the people who call themselves nonbinary are just calling themselves trans for social clout, they aren't “real trannies”. And it doesn't help that some nonbinary individuals use their assigned gender at birth to defend themselves from valid criticism from trans women. They, intentionally or not, play into gender essentialism; by potraying themselves to be inherently “soft and pure” for being AFAB, and making AMAB individuals to be inherently “violent”.

It should be clear that these biases are made by observing people who are using their marginalized identity as a shield to absolve themselves of their wrongdoings. It's not the fault of the identity, its the fault of the person. As a collective we need to do better by protecting the ones who are the most at risk and asking for accountabilty from the ones who hurt us.

একুন ইউএসএ তে ট্রান্স মানুষ রা বেশ কস্টে আছে। নোটুন নিয়ম বেরোচে, রাজ্য সরকার থেকে আর কেন্দ্রীয় সরকার থেকে কি ওদের কে ওই বাথরুম ই ব্যবহার করতে হবে জেতা ওদের জোনমোগাতো লিঙ্গো সাথে মেল খায়ে। ট্রান্স মেয়ে রা স্কুল কলেজ এ খেলাধুলা এ অননো মেই দের সাথে খেলতে পারবে না।

আর একতা কি ট্রান্স মানুষ রা জোখুন পাসপোর্ট নবায়ন বা ভিসা জননো পাসপোর্ট জমা করচে, ওদের পাসপোর্ট জাপ্টো কোরা হবে, ফেরোদ পাছে না।

আমড়া থেকে টিজি কার্ড উদযাপন করচি। কিন্টু, ইউএসএ এর অস্থিরতা দেখে কি আমাদের ভাবা কথা না: সরকার/স্টেট সে তথ্য তা নিয়ে কখুন কি করতে পারে, সেট কি আমরা জানি?

Feb 7th e queerbeat namer ekta online site e article berolo. Seta ke bangla te lekha'r chesta korchi. English article ta eikhane ache: https://www.queerbeat.org/stories/my-last-wish-is-to-die-fair-and-pretty-these-hijra-women-think-glutathione-will-heal-more-than-their-skin

Bolche je hijde kothi ra ga er rong phorsha kora jonno ekta medicine nichhe jar bishesh podartho hochhe Glutathione naam er ekta chemical. Eita amader liver e samanyo bhabe toiri hoye. Liver er oshudh hishabe eita'r proyojon certified achhe. Eita te dekha geche ki kichu khetre ga'er rong phorsha hoye. Eita te rong phorsha korar jonno “wonder drug” hishabe bikri kora hochhe. Onek skincare treatment e o dewa hoye.

Kintu daam onek pore. Effect dekhte gele to ek bochor treatment nitei habe, 15 khana treatment o hote pare. Ekta treatment er daam, jaiga jaiga te depend kore, kintu 3000/– teen hazaar taka o hote pare. Aar skin er upore effect baniye rakhte hole treatment niye jete habe. Na hole, abar aager obostha te chole jabe dheere dheere. Bochor e 36,000/– theke 84,000/– dam porche treatment er, depend kore koto ta nichho.

Glutathione er market onek bodo. Onek jon nichhe to. Article e bolche ki Delhi, Maharastra, Punjab e praye 45% community nichhe. Aar non-community manush, film star, celebrity, era o nichhe. 2024 2 praye 117 crore taka'r market chilo Glutathione'er.

Lokjon nichhe to ki sundor lagbe, partner habe, customer habe. Kintu article e jei hijda kothi der interview korlo ora eita'o bolchilo ki ja extra kamai korche seta to treatment nite'i beriye jachhe. Kintu onek peer pressure ba community bhetor theke chaap o achhe – phorsha lagte habe, cis-women er moton lagte habe.

Medicine er side effect o achhe. Long term use korle kidney te effect hote pare. Especially kenoki ei treatment ta injection ba saline drip er sathe deya hoye, tablet ba syrup noye. Seta te side effect howa chance besi. Tai treatment nile o, doctor dekhiye neya utchit, kidney testing korate hoye. Kintu article e jei hijde kothi der ke interview korlo tara to bollo ki onek jon i doctor na dekhiye naye – fees aar testing er poisa beche jaye, keu besi side effect niye bhabe na. Ek jon bollo ki amra aar koto din banchbo, side effect bhebe ki habe.

Where Have You Gone?

Through a hurried life, Her presence compels me to pause and savor.

Why is it that I cannot look away? Like colors blending seamlessly into nature, Her essence merges gracefully with simplicity.

Moment by moment, She proves that the beauty of humanity Is the source of boundless joy.

Even after she departs, Like eyes sensing light even in darkness, Her absence lingers, traveling with her presence.

The warmth of her breath mingling with the air outside Gently caresses my solitude.

The places etched with her images Turn the mirage into a profound truth.

In my frozen world, Her realities melt away, leaving me bereft.

Where have you gone?

My contentment fades Without witnessing your playful innocence.

My peace turns to emptiness Without beholding your soft smile.

My hearing falters In the silence of your absence.

Where have you gone, My woman? Where have you gone?

There’s cave on your face You keep it ajar a lot You let it loose a lot Open, wide and wobbly The cave is a free country

Sometimes it has air At times it is fair Tales and toils it has been bare But dare someone to hear!

It's not fragile out there, It’s not brutal either; It’s not nice out there If nice is what you are

Still dare and dare Dare to care Since it’s only fair To show that you spare All your despair And tears that are queer.

The problem isn’t the name of the institution (school, college, company, non profit, home,...). It is how almost all spaces are structured hierarchically. With the power to oppress, to violate, to dominate being assigned to specific posts/status. We need to imagine new configurations for our lives, our work, workplaces. Where we are not dominated and bullied nor do we dominate and bully others. Bullying is not just commonplace amongst school/college students, grown ups in positions of power are bullying openly, harming people and careers, and preventing work because of their stupidity, arrogance, pettiness, and spite.

We need to learn to see how power operates. How it sustains and reproduces oppressive structures.

Of course, the colour, the plumpness, the pressure...the give. But beyond analysis, is a feeling of knowing. I just know. Or, at least, I feel that I just know. Sometimes I am wrong.

How do you?

I was going to the health camp organised by a community-based organisation on the Human Rights Day (Dec 10). I took the metro from Tollygunge to Dum Dum. The metro was already crowded when we boarded. I was standing near the door, holding an overhead grab-handle.

There was a woman standing by the door in front of me. I noticed that she was wearing a green kurti, pink sweater, and duppatta. I was wearing a green salwar-kurti with dupatta. Our eyes met and I passed a smile. She smiled back. But then she looked at me, puzzled. Then burst out in a laugh (not a boisterous laugh, no sounds, but a laugh that was mocking me). She looked away, then looked at me, and then laughed again. I asked her, in English, “Are you ok?” She said, “yes, I am OK.” I was annoyed. I stood more firmly, looking glassily straight ahead. Her eyes scanned my body and my chest. Then she laughed again. She started communicating with a similar-aged man standing across from her. They were traveling together. He was wearing brown slacks and a patterned deep blue button-up shirt. He looked a bit embarrassed. I had a bag slung over my shoulder and a water bottle in my hand. I clutched them tightly. She could see that I am uncomfortable. She laughed openly at me now.

I wondered what I should do? Doing nothing or moving away did not seem like an option. What happens if I protest? What's the chance that people might beat me up? Would I be able to handle it if this situation escalates? I felt alone.

The train was crowded. A couple of men standing beside me were noticing what is going on. I whispered loudly. “oshobho.” She scanned my genital regions with her eyes and laughed. “Rude.” I said more loudly, “Lajja kore na ei dhoron’er byabohar korte?” The man she was talking to called her to his side. She went and clung to his hand. She laughed again, and started talking to him about me. Everyone around could hear her talking about me. He wasn’t engaging, but she continued to try to get him to also make fun of me. It had been about 10 min since the journey started. It felt like an hour. I looked at the men beside me and said “ki dhoron er oshobhota, dekhuun” Their faces were like stone. But her boyfriend sternly told her to shut up. She complied but was angry at him. 

It felt a sort of victory, and I started smiling. She then started to quarrel with him about other things. Quarrelling with her companion was her way of registering protest. Seeing her cling to him and quarrel with him at the same time, I felt kinda sad. It felt like she was trapped in his protection. It felt so strange. We could have been friends, right? We could be collaborators on challenging patriarchy? And here we were, both protected by a man.