freedom from?

Many things.

One such thing is the “di” and the “da” Not dida. Di and Da.

The custom of marking who popped out of a vagina before you by an honorific. A mark of respect for the coincidence that the other person was born before you.

It does not matter what they did with their life.

It does not matter what personality they have.

Bully, cruel, asshole. Whatever that person might be. Our culture says that the main thing to remember is who was born before. And that should be the metric for assumed and automatic respect.

I hate it. I do not want automatic respect because I was born before someone else. I do not want to give automatic respect to someone because they were born before me.

Getting birthed before someone is not an achievement. It isn't merit.

No “da”. No “di”. That's what I want freedom from.

There are bigger things: patriarchy, capitalism, colonialism, brahmanism, etc. I want freedom from. But hey on the way, lose the da and the di. Respect all for their actions. Or don't. I am not the boss of you!

-Bhumika Arya, M.Sc. Economics and Analytics

Christ University, NCR

India is home to the world's largest tribal population, with 697 tribal groups and communities across the country (as per the Anthropological Survey of India). Each tribal group is distinct and has its own culture, art, handicrafts, and other distinctive characteristics, as well as a very sustainable and environmentally beneficial way of living. Indian tribes have a lot of potentials to be excellent entrepreneur assets to the Indian economy because of their rich culture and art, therefore making them a crucial element of the workforce for economic progress. Tribal handicrafts not only display tribal craftspeople’s unique culture but also provide a source of income for them. What distinguishes tribal handicraft from modern handicraft is that tribal artisans create their art and handicraft using resources from their indigenous lands and surroundings, which not only make tribal handicraft unique but also demonstrates how local resources can be used to their full potential by the creativity and culture of these tribal artists. Despite their rich art and handicrafts, tribal artisans and entrepreneurs have failed to reach their expected efficient growth over the decades after independence. One of the main reasons is scheduled tribes being the economic and social minorities and facing discrimination by the majority and privileged members of society for decades during and after colonial rule. Machine made products always have had an edge over the hand made product industries, this is mainly because of such products having good quality and being less costly as compared to hand made products. In this era of capitalisation and consumerism, fast fashion brands have taken over the traditional industries of art, fashion, clothes and jewellery. Everything is being produced at bulk level for consumers by these brands, mainly because they employ large capital and machineries which makes their products efficient and also large production costs less. Consumerism has increased the demand for each and every product and services. Brutal competition faced by fast fashion and mainstream brands: Tribal artisans, are expected to face brutal competition from fast fashion brands, this is mainly because, fast fashion brands have huge capital invested, larger parts of markets are already captured by them, it becomes immensely hard for tribal entrepreneurs to set their foot in this competition and their survival. How Tribal Entrepreneurs can help in the economic growth of India? Entrepreneurs are vital to the economy because they aid in the acceleration of economic growth by uniting the forces of production to produce goods and services. Any economy must develop a sense of entrepreneurship in its citizens for the country's resources to be utilized to their full potential. Understanding of Tribal economy can help us understand the economic and entrepreneurship behaviors concerning Indian Tribes, helping government in creating and implementing policies for SSIs n Tribal population and sensitizing consumers to include tribal products and services in their consumption. In terms of India's economic history, we can see how trade played a significant role in India for numerous centuries, even before the advent of western industrialization. All over Asia and some areas of Africa, India is known for its commerce in traditional handicrafts, art, and jewellry. Indian tribes and artisans have been playing an important role as producers of handicrafts ever since the ancient period. Before independence, Indian handicrafts (including tribal handicrafts) were in big demand across the countries. During colonial period, these industries were destroyed by british government’s Discriminatory tariff policies and Systematic deindustralisation. After independence India tried to gain back its tribal economy and handicraft industries, through many plans and policies. Government funds have been allocated for tribal development in almost every 5 year plans, mainly focusing on increasing the productivity and conditions of tribal farmers and their indigenous farming practices and helping them in training and skill development programmes Tribal artisans hold vast cultural assets in form of art, in this era of brutal competition in globalisation, it’s very easy for non-tribal brands to copy tribal designs and sell, which makes tribal entrepreneurs vulnerable and at risk, as their own art may not belong to them as some Big brand companies already took copyrighted claims over the designs. So it becomes very important to educate tribal entrepreneurs on their rights, and how they can have copyrights and patents over their cultural art, designs and products. Indian tribal entrepreneurs have a lot of potential, skills, and talent, and the growth of Indian tribal entrepreneurship is good for the Indian economy, societal norms, and it also means that Indian tribal culture, art, and skills will be preserved. Despite all of this, they continue to struggle to exist in global marketplaces. They are susceptible and at risk of failing to survive in the market due to competition from large firms. In addition to being protected by numerous rules, tribal entrepreneurs must also develop their abilities to keep up with the changing digital world and receive consumer support in order to maintain a secure position in the market. Investors must recognise tribal business talent and future opportunities before investing in their ideas and businesses. All of these can ensure the holistic growth of India's tribal tribes, as well as the development of this nation's marginalized sect. Consumers need to educate themselves to make better consumer decisions and buy from tribal artists instead of buying tribal products stolen from big and foreign brands. Support should be given to tribal artisans on online platforms and online selling websites, to better create sensitization among consumers. Moreover legal aid should be given to tribal artisans and entrepreneurs if they see other brands copying their designs and art. Angel investors and the public can play an important role to invest in the business ideas of tribal people and help their business to grow and be able to compete at nationals and international level. Capital funding and easy availability of credit through online methods need to be made accessible to tribal artisans and entrepreneurs for their business.

References

1. Mitra, A. (2008). The status of women among the scheduled tribes in India. Journal of Socio-economics, 37, 1202-1217.
2. Subramanyam, P.V. (2020). Social Exclusion, Inclusion, Integration and Development of Tribes in India: Anthropological Holistic Perspective.
3. Meena, Ms. & Chaturvedi, Ankita & Gupta, Sachin. (2021). OPPORTUNITIES IN TRIBAL ENTREPRENEURSHIP & MSMES.
4. Srivastav, Nirankar & Syngkon, Rickey. (2010). Marketing Management and Entrepreneurship Development in a Tribal Dominated Economy: A Case Study of Small Scale Industries in East Khasi Hills District of Meghalaya, India. SSRN Electronic Journal. 10.2139/ssrn.1817302.
5. Dr. Devath Suresh (2014) TRIBAL DEVELOPMENT THROUGH FIVE YEAR PLANS IN INDIA – AN OVERVIEW.
6. D.C. Sah, Ashish Bhatt, Tapas K. Dalapati (2008) CHRONIC POVERTY IN REMOTE RURAL AREAS
7. Ram Pravesh (2016) CHALLENGES AND OPPORTUNITIES OF TRIBAL ENTREPRENEURSHIP IN INDIA
8. Holt, D. B. (2002). Why Do Brands Cause Trouble? A Dialectical Theory of Consumer Culture and Branding. Journal of Consumer Research, 29(1), 70–90. https://doi.org/10.1086/339922 Neha Sharma, and Dr. Ruchi Goyal. (2017). “PRADHAN MANTRI JAN DHAN YOJANA (PMJDY) – A CONCEPTUAL STUDY.”International Journal of Research – Granthaalayah, 5(4), 143-152. Ministry of Tribal Affairs- Government of India https://tribal.nic.in

Harder than it looks.

Parul has never been more frustrated with witches and their shenanigans more in her life. In the last month alone Labonno has teleported unannounced inside the house multiple times a week. She seems enthusiastic about matching Parul up with a man.

“You know, I have read bloodsuckers are nicer, they ask before they get inside a house.” Parul has scorned at Labonno once.

“Well bloodsuckers don’t wait around to collect their debts” Labonno snapped back.

Parul didn’t say anything, it was already worse that Labonno was invading her private space more than normal. She didn’t wanna start an argument again.

“Why are you sending that hand icon as soon as you get a match? that makes you look lazy and desperate.” Labonno said looking over Parul’s shoulder. Parul was just swiping on a dating app.

“I mean what else am I supposed to do?” Parul asked meekly.

“Don’t text them first. Ever” Labonno was stern. “You are looking for a husband. Not a lover.”

Parul wasn’t expecting this line of thought from Labonno. “Are they separate? I thought you marry someone you love.”

Labonno was chuckling. “No silly girl, you marry for social status, not love. If people married for love, the world would have been very different.”

“I’m sorry, I wish to be married to someone who loves me. That’s the dream of every girl.” Parul retorted.

Labonno laughed. It was a dry laughter. As if she was frustrated with the naïveté of Parul. “Do I need to remind you that you were not even planning to get married, you wanted a husband to get the adoption process going.”

“Yes, but since I’m getting married, I thought…” Parul interjected but Labonno cut her off. “I’m not done.” Labonno continued, “Your government allows couples to adopt, that is the social status you get from being married. Your focus should be getting my debt paid off. Not side quests like love.” Labonno took a pause but held up the right index finger to not let Parul cut in. “Also, you don’t find love when you seek it out. You need love to find you. Which is not gonna be possible for you given how you spend all your days cooped up in this tiny home”

Parul had no words to say. Labonnos words cut deep, but at the same time there wasn’t any lies in what she said. Parul couldn’t argue back so she decided to focus more on the app and started swiping aggressively.

Soon enough, the app showed a message saying Parul has exhausted all her available free swipes and whether she would like to buy a premium subscription to continue swiping. Parul heaved a sigh of frustration.

“Maybe I should buy a subscription.” Parul said to herself. She then turned to Labonno and said, “Maybe it’s time for you to go, there’s nothing more gonna happen. I ran out of swipes and I’m not gonna pay money for matches”

Labonno didn’t say anything. She just teleported with a crack. Parul heaved a sigh of defeat and lied down on the floor. Trying to get a match while someone was looking over her shoulder has given her a lot of anxiety and it was only now dawning on her that this situation is likely to get even worse.

Parul didn’t realise how long it has been till she got a notification from her phone. A match has texted her back.

Parul looked at the message from the notification. It said, “girl you look hella fine, what do I do to call you mine?”

Parul cringed at the message, and instantly took a screenshot of the notification to send it to Labonno before realising that witch doesn’t use a smartphone.

Parul opened the app, and quickly typed, “Awwwwwwww, you can put a ring on me, and call me whatever you want.”

As soon as she sent the text, the match started typing. the three dots kept popping up and down for a good amount of five minutes. Vanishing in the middle for couple times. The waiting was crucifying. Parul’s mind raced around to figure out what possibly could he be writing that takes so much time. After a while a sole word popped up.

“Bet”.

Parul was confused. All that typing to write just this? She didn’t know what to write back to this message. She thought for a bit, and typed out, “I don’t mind if you take me to dinner first though.” and hit send.

She immediately got the response from the app that “You can’t send messages to this person anymore”. It took a bit of time for Parul to realise she has been unmatched. Parul was angry now. Why bother writing something that you obviously don’t mean? She through her phone in frustration and decided to make herself a bowl of cereal. She kinda missed Labonno now. She really wanted to know how would Labonno react to this interaction. She hurried back to her phone again and picked it up to take a screenshot for reference. Then she realised the app deleted the chat as well when the dude unmatched. She was inside the chat window so the app couldn’t say anything to her face, but once she exited the app, it made sure to make it look like no such interaction occurred.

Parul went to the app store and gave the app a one star review out of spite. It was late. She needed to cook dinner. So she decided to be mature, and hurried off to peel vegetables. She was seething, but she was also looking forward to venting to Labonno.

A shady deal

parul never thought in her wildest dreams that witches are real. Let alone how persistent they could be. It was a moment of desperation when she made the deal. But now, in her dimly lit kitchen, Labonyo, the witch, was nursing a glass of goat milk and staring at her with judgemental eyes that felt like it was piercing her soul.

Parul was sixteen, homeless, living off scraps from local shops, and sleeping in benches in bus stops. She wanted to just live and no payment was too high. So when the witch asked for her firstborn in exchange for her getting to live a life she wanted, she agreed without hesitation. She wasn’t thinking of having a child in the first place. Parul saw love as a tool for patriarchy designed to control women. And as a self-made women, being in love felt like a bigger betrayal than cheating a centuries old witch out of a deal. She thought this as a bad credit card debt. She just never realised out of her naiveté that credit card companies also have hoodlums they call the debt collectors, and at this point, Labonyo was feeling less like a witch and more like a debt collector doing a home visit.

“Parul, were you always planning to cheat me out of our deal?” Labonyo’s words felt calculated. Parul wasn’t expecting a direct question like this. She fumbled and couldn’t come up with an answer.

“What is given, can be taken away” Labonyo added serenely, “All your progress can go away instantly, and you won’t be sixteen again either.”

“I didn’t mean to, I was just…” was all Parul could master before Labonyo cut her off.

“I know what you’re gonna say, ‘Oh i never wanted to fall in love, I can never have kids’ — I knew that. Your firstborn doesn’t have to be biological. Just someone who see you as a mother. All this time, and you still don’t think how much power our choices hold.” Labonyo took a big sip from her glass of milk.

“How can I adopt without being married? This is India, trans girls like us aren’t allowed to adopt” Parul mumbled.

“That seems like a you problem, Parul” Labonyo interjected. “You figure that shit out. I need my payment. I have been nothing but generous to you, but I simply can’t keep providing free service, can I?”

“I’m not asking you to provide free service…” Parul started to speak.

“Bitch, please, you were totally planning to default on the debt, I have lived for over five hundred years, I have seen stupid people like you who thinks they can scam a witch” Labonyo was not taking any excuses today.

“Okay fine, just help me get a date then, and I promise I will get an adoption process going as soon as i’m married and give you the baby when they turn seven, as promised” Parul begged.

“Your dating life is none of my business and no, I can’t keep helping you without anything in return. My other coven members are starting rumours and they are not good for my business.” Labonyo was dismissive as she took a bigger sip from the glass. She seemed distracted.

“Not help, just tips.” Parul was desperate. “You want this solved fast? Me too.” Parul took a pause. She was calculating her next words very carefully. “Not to self-victimise, but your debt calls aren’t nice. I’d really like if you didn’t just teleported in the middle of my kitchen any time you please. It’s unsettling”

“Again, not my problem” Labonyo seemed a bit irritated.

“You are also saying people are talking about how you can’t collect a debt.”

“Who is saying that? I have a perfect collection score” Labonyo seemed very agitated now.

“You just said your coven is saying stuff”

“That’s none of your business, and for your information, that’s not what they are saying. They’re just saying that I have been…” Labonyo bit her tongue in the middle of the sentence. “You don’t have to worry about what they are saying. This doesn’t concern you. You should only be worried about your debt to me.” Labonyo suddenly was very focused on her glass of milk.

“That’s what I’m saying” Parul was confused at the tone of Labonyo, but she was also seeing a chance she didn’t see before. “You are a very experienced woman, I just want tips on how to be a proper woman. You know I didn’t grow up socialising as one. you know, girls help each other.”

Labonyo didn’t say anything back. Parul continued, “Just help me be more feminine, help me with dating, if i get an adoption going in a year, you can be assured of my payment, and the rumours about you will also stop. It is a win-win for us”

“Don’t think I do not see what you are trying to do, I’m not stupid” Labonyo was surprisingly calm. “But yes, I do think this might be the best solution for me too.” She continued. “I will give you tips, but one year. If you are not engaged within a year, all bets are off”

And with that Labonyo teleported with a crack and without a goodbye. Parul heaved a sigh of relief. How in the world witches are real and why do they need your firstborn? Parul made a mental note to ask this to Labonyo the next time around.

Well, people who know me, knows that I swear by Tartan Noirs. So when I first heard that Val Mcbride’s epynomus character Karen Pirie was coming to the TV in 2022, I was over the moon.

Shetland had been one of my favourite recommendations for people getting into the genre, but after Karen Pirie’s explosive first season, I can say that Shetland has a very good competition now.

Karen Pirie is one of the main female crime solving characters created by the Modern Queen of Crime Val McDermid. I really like her writing because she incorporates feminist and queer themes from her lived experiences of being a radical feminist and a lesbian. So more often than not, her characters operates under the extra pressure of optics and patriarchy.

Karen Pirie is no different, her office nickname is Box Ticker, because the boys club in the police station considers her a dei hire. To be honest, In the first season she gets the job because she is a woman, and she is picked because the actual murdered, who is in a higher position in the police force, never really thought she could be up to the job.

I think it is safe to say that the first season of Karen Pirie exceeded all expectations so much so that, other streaming services scrambled to make their own version of cold case procedurals as soon as possible. Netflix came out with Department Q with Matthew Goode, and Prime literally cancelled Bosch: Legacy to give more value to their similar show Ballard with Maggie Q.

I was kinda sceptical with the second season of Karen Pirie to be honest. But this month I had been a bit ill, so I found that a good excuse to binge the whole of Season 2 in one go. It is again a three episode season with one and half hour episodes. And it retains the same structure of going back and forth in the past to the present.

Unlike last season, the victim this time is not a working class woman. It is about an heiress of one of the biggest oil baron of Scotland. Catriona Grant. James Cosmo, who you might know as ser Joer Mormont from Game of Thrones or as Farder Coram from His Dark Materials plays the role of the Grant family Patriarch with utmost believability. He has been so good that our blunt to a fault detective couldnt figure out what he could have been hiding.

This season was a lot more predictable, as the series progresses you could spot some of the chinks in the armour, and guess which direction the story is going. Yet, the ending will still surprise you.

This case opens up after a surprisingly well preserved dead body is found in an abondoned quarry. That man was in possession of Catriona’s car keys, which he used to kidnap her. A kidnapping that happened 40 years ago, in 1984. Karen did find out eventually that Catriona was already in on it on the kidnapping and asking for the ransom, but eventually they also find the dead body of hers as well, throwing all speculations out of the window.

This season is more about class war than anything else. The Grant family has secrets, and they would go to any lengths to keep them from coming out. It doesn’t also hurt that they have all the resources and the money to undercut the detectives and sabotage the investigations. They did it last time, and tried really hard this time as well. However, they did love their daughter and grandson, and would not have harmed them either. Grant’s businesses put multiple miners out of work, so it could have been about a revenge from the unionising miners as well, or could be the crime family that is known for their ruthlessness in Scotland.

I really like scottish productions. their cinematography is very beautiful and having picturesque small towns seem like an added bonus. There are a lot of new actors who I do not know, and that is honestly refreshing. Chris Jenks as Mint, or Karen’s new puppy is actually a very lovable himbo.

I also need to point out that when most american procedurals are basically copaganda, british shows often take the route to show how much corruption there is in the police force. Sure, Karen Pirie is not as dark and heartbreaking like Red Riding, or as hellbent against corruption as Line of Duty (fuck the last season), but it still shows the cracks quite clearly. However I do not like the fact that the show pushes one bad apple rhetoric. However, I guess I can look the other way since their portrayal of systemic racism in scotland is quite realistic.

Val wrote 8 novels about Karen, so I guess we can expect six more seasons to come. I do not mind waiting for couple years for new seasons, and I do think the breaks help a lot. I hope the show is renewed again.

I also like the politics of Val. Queerness in her writings exist as a matter of fact, and generally has no bearing on the story. Which is extremely refreshing in the claustrophobic queer tv show genre where everything rotates around it. Queer people are more than their sexuality, and I’m really glad the show stays true to the source material.

I do recommend you watch Karen Pirie. It doesn’t treat the audience as stupid, and often it shows the audience a lot more context about the characters than the detective without divulging any extra details. That is extremely hard to do and the show-runners deserve praise for executing that flawlessly. If you have liked procedurals like Shetland or Broadchurch, you’ll feel at home with Karen Pirie.

Oh I’m sure you had been hungry, I mean who hasn’t? To be honest, I wanted to add so before hungry; I needed to get some things off my chest.

Have you ever been so hungry, That the food you hated so much Felt like the best thing in the world? It stopped making your stomach lurch.

Have you ever been so hungry, That it just made you nauseated? But you couldn’t really puke, And tore your throat instead!

Have you ever been so hungry, Neither coffee nor nicotine could douse it? You curse any and all gods, For giving you an appetite

Have you ever been so hungry, That your mouth got progressively bitter? From you bile; and all you could do Was to make your belt tighter.

Have you ever been so hungry, That you punched yourself in the gut? And then you’re still hungry but also in pain? Yeah, that move wasn’t smart.

Have you ever been so hungry, That you just went to sleep? Hoping not to wake up tomorrow Because this life? it doesn’t come cheap.

Have you ever been so hungry, That you traded your body for a meal? It’s not a real choice, if that’s the only option! IDK about others, but this is what i feel.

Have you ever been so hungry, That you had to crawl back and beg To your abusers? undoing every progress; And that knocked you down another peg?

What do you know of starvation? Do you even know how to cook? Who are you to preach about shit, When all your dialogues come from a book?

You cal me brave, powerful even, But also an uncouth ticking time bomb. I may not have the means as you, But you’ll never know where I’m coming from!

where is the trans movement?

Nothing is universal, but some trends are visible: NGOs are scared. Their funds are drying up or they know will dry up. Their ideas dried up some time back. They are trying to squeeze the dried up ideas to get some more juice (Rupees) out of funders. NGO leaders keep repeating that the community is not interested, not invested, as justification to not do anything other than what they have already been doing. They are literally having to bribe the community to attend their events. Events are mostly designed to be photo-ops that can be used to seduce funders. Learning, growing, being, becoming, these are hardly part of these workshops, trainings, and events.

The community is left in a lurch while agendas lacking courage are debated ad nauseam in meetings and conferences. The public is neither consulted nor informed.

We need a different style of movement. One that is distributed, leaderless, employs wide range of tactics, connects a wide range of ideas and demands beyond identity politics. We need movements – plural – in street corners, living rooms, offices, neighbourhoods. We deserve unruled movements. And no one else will give them to us.

not really feeling artsy anymore

What will a writer do when they lose all their words?

For a writer losing all of their words is like plucking all of a child's favourite toys. And you'll see a child cry and throw a tantrum and roll over the floor to get the toys back

But a writer? Specifically this writer that we're talking about, she just shuts herself down. Writing in a cubicle surrounded by white walls and selling lies did this to her.

A black cloudy figure often loom over her shoulders. She felt it's presence everytime she opened her notebook to write. It lurked on her even when she had something decent to write about at work. For they prefer the machine’s version over a human's. For there is nothing real or romantic about marketing useless things. For she's suddenly so scared of the mistakes within her words. The black clouds continued to loom over her. Sucked all the colours of her notebook, her quill, her papers. And then finally her. She sits alone now, by her favourite tree trying to bring back the words that once she didn't have to force it out. She used to write like she's about to be breathless if she doesn't note it down. Like the words were her anchor to hold on to when life crashed merciless waves at her. Now she writes and goes back to her words and feels shitty at how less it all feels. How it doesn't satisfy her anymore. The feeling of not owning anything she writes cuz all of her words are merely prompts for AI to eat up and spit out baseless words that are more likely to get a conversion.

She wants everything back. She wants to go back to hating her parents and not empathising with them just so she can muster up a write up about how horrible they actually are. She wants the romance in it back. She wants to fire back in her words. She wants to look up at the sky and think of poems on the spot like she always does. She wants the music back, the kind that had her up at 1am and write about it.

Until then she'll have the stormy black clouds as her companion. For it has to rain someday.

Why does the queer community hate bisexuals, nonbinary people, and polyamorous people?

Before I proceed I should mention that my observations and conclusions are all anecdotal in nature based on my lived experience, and is in no way empiric. I am writing this piece to start conversations.

I was in a relationship with a trans man for almost 3 years. We bonded well and were compatible. But during this time both of us realised that we were polyamorous, and confided that to each other. I wasn't romantically interested in anyone except for him at that time despite being polyamorous, and I told him the same. We gave each other consent to date other people as well, given if we have a clear conversation about it first.

A month after this conversation, he broke up with me over text. Our mutual friends tell me that he has been dating another man for a while, and the other person was a better partner for him than I could ever be. I was devastated.

Unfortunately, I am not the only one who went through this. Many of my friends have been cheated on, with their then partners using polyamory or open relationships as an excuse to betray the trust of their partners.

As a polyamorous person, I know this isn't polyamory. This is lying, this is cheating, this betrayal. Polyamory is nothing but a flimsy shield. But my friends, who are monogamous, do not know that. They think that polyamorous people are liars who are hypersexual and won't hesitate to break hearts just to get their sexual fix. So my friends and other queer people develop a disdain of polyamorous people based on their negative experiences.

On top of that, some unethical polyamory practitioners treat minorities as a trophy, a game achievement. They become chasers for trans women and men and caste and religious minorities, approaching them with ideas of roleplay the person isn't comfortable with. The disdain grows.

Similary, some monosexual people hate bisexuals. They associate bisexuality with promiscuity and lying behaviour, because their bisexual partner cheated on them with a person of a different gender.

From the past discussions it should be evident that queer people are also prone to biases about fellow members of the community based on anecdotes. The same is for how some people think of nonbinary people.

India has been home of many identities that exist beyond the binary. On top of that, due to imposition by the state, some trans women and men consider themselves to be a “third gender”; and they can become fully a woman/ a man by undergoing bottom surgery and HRT. But, describing one's gender as “nonbinary” is relatively modern and confined to urban middle class queer circles. A lot of working class trans people feel betrayed when they see UC middle class nonbinary individuals being celebrated for their transness even though they haven't done any meaningful work to uplift the members who are in the grassroots. This betrayal develops into bias, that the people who call themselves nonbinary are just calling themselves trans for social clout, they aren't “real trannies”. And it doesn't help that some nonbinary individuals use their assigned gender at birth to defend themselves from valid criticism from trans women. They, intentionally or not, play into gender essentialism; by potraying themselves to be inherently “soft and pure” for being AFAB, and making AMAB individuals to be inherently “violent”.

It should be clear that these biases are made by observing people who are using their marginalized identity as a shield to absolve themselves of their wrongdoings. It's not the fault of the identity, its the fault of the person. As a collective we need to do better by protecting the ones who are the most at risk and asking for accountabilty from the ones who hurt us.

একুন ইউএসএ তে ট্রান্স মানুষ রা বেশ কস্টে আছে। নোটুন নিয়ম বেরোচে, রাজ্য সরকার থেকে আর কেন্দ্রীয় সরকার থেকে কি ওদের কে ওই বাথরুম ই ব্যবহার করতে হবে জেতা ওদের জোনমোগাতো লিঙ্গো সাথে মেল খায়ে। ট্রান্স মেয়ে রা স্কুল কলেজ এ খেলাধুলা এ অননো মেই দের সাথে খেলতে পারবে না।

আর একতা কি ট্রান্স মানুষ রা জোখুন পাসপোর্ট নবায়ন বা ভিসা জননো পাসপোর্ট জমা করচে, ওদের পাসপোর্ট জাপ্টো কোরা হবে, ফেরোদ পাছে না।

আমড়া থেকে টিজি কার্ড উদযাপন করচি। কিন্টু, ইউএসএ এর অস্থিরতা দেখে কি আমাদের ভাবা কথা না: সরকার/স্টেট সে তথ্য তা নিয়ে কখুন কি করতে পারে, সেট কি আমরা জানি?

Feb 7th e queerbeat namer ekta online site e article berolo. Seta ke bangla te lekha'r chesta korchi. English article ta eikhane ache: https://www.queerbeat.org/stories/my-last-wish-is-to-die-fair-and-pretty-these-hijra-women-think-glutathione-will-heal-more-than-their-skin

Bolche je hijde kothi ra ga er rong phorsha kora jonno ekta medicine nichhe jar bishesh podartho hochhe Glutathione naam er ekta chemical. Eita amader liver e samanyo bhabe toiri hoye. Liver er oshudh hishabe eita'r proyojon certified achhe. Eita te dekha geche ki kichu khetre ga'er rong phorsha hoye. Eita te rong phorsha korar jonno “wonder drug” hishabe bikri kora hochhe. Onek skincare treatment e o dewa hoye.

Kintu daam onek pore. Effect dekhte gele to ek bochor treatment nitei habe, 15 khana treatment o hote pare. Ekta treatment er daam, jaiga jaiga te depend kore, kintu 3000/– teen hazaar taka o hote pare. Aar skin er upore effect baniye rakhte hole treatment niye jete habe. Na hole, abar aager obostha te chole jabe dheere dheere. Bochor e 36,000/– theke 84,000/– dam porche treatment er, depend kore koto ta nichho.

Glutathione er market onek bodo. Onek jon nichhe to. Article e bolche ki Delhi, Maharastra, Punjab e praye 45% community nichhe. Aar non-community manush, film star, celebrity, era o nichhe. 2024 2 praye 117 crore taka'r market chilo Glutathione'er.

Lokjon nichhe to ki sundor lagbe, partner habe, customer habe. Kintu article e jei hijda kothi der interview korlo ora eita'o bolchilo ki ja extra kamai korche seta to treatment nite'i beriye jachhe. Kintu onek peer pressure ba community bhetor theke chaap o achhe – phorsha lagte habe, cis-women er moton lagte habe.

Medicine er side effect o achhe. Long term use korle kidney te effect hote pare. Especially kenoki ei treatment ta injection ba saline drip er sathe deya hoye, tablet ba syrup noye. Seta te side effect howa chance besi. Tai treatment nile o, doctor dekhiye neya utchit, kidney testing korate hoye. Kintu article e jei hijde kothi der ke interview korlo tara to bollo ki onek jon i doctor na dekhiye naye – fees aar testing er poisa beche jaye, keu besi side effect niye bhabe na. Ek jon bollo ki amra aar koto din banchbo, side effect bhebe ki habe.

Where Have You Gone?

Through a hurried life, Her presence compels me to pause and savor.

Why is it that I cannot look away? Like colors blending seamlessly into nature, Her essence merges gracefully with simplicity.

Moment by moment, She proves that the beauty of humanity Is the source of boundless joy.

Even after she departs, Like eyes sensing light even in darkness, Her absence lingers, traveling with her presence.

The warmth of her breath mingling with the air outside Gently caresses my solitude.

The places etched with her images Turn the mirage into a profound truth.

In my frozen world, Her realities melt away, leaving me bereft.

Where have you gone?

My contentment fades Without witnessing your playful innocence.

My peace turns to emptiness Without beholding your soft smile.

My hearing falters In the silence of your absence.

Where have you gone, My woman? Where have you gone?

There’s cave on your face You keep it ajar a lot You let it loose a lot Open, wide and wobbly The cave is a free country

Sometimes it has air At times it is fair Tales and toils it has been bare But dare someone to hear!

It's not fragile out there, It’s not brutal either; It’s not nice out there If nice is what you are

Still dare and dare Dare to care Since it’s only fair To show that you spare All your despair And tears that are queer.

everytime i settle down in my skin and start to feel safe, kolkata reminds me that women are never safe. ever. anywhere.

I have been staying in my place for four years now. it’s like 10 minutes of walk from Ranikuthi. a place i have felt relatively safer to navigate. i see other trans women and queer couples here in public, late night walks are serene and uneventful, often i finish my work and walk back home at around 1 am at night and never have i ever had to face any untoward behaviour except a few persistent offer for lifts from various men.

that changed this diwali. i didn’t get assaulted per se. but i didn’t feel safe. i didn’t feel carefree. i had to be alert and almost ran back to my apartment.

i got done with my work on 3rd at around 2 at night. i wasn’t worried about the time because these kinda times are normal for me. accounting for diwali i was expecting a little bit of life on the roads, and i wasn’t disappointed.

as i started walking back to my place, i started going through the learnings of the day and the task list for tomorrow. i was quite deep in thoughts so it took me a little while to realise two men on a sports bike had been circling me. they have been going in front of me, waiting for me to cross, and then slowly overtaking me and waiting patiently for me to come up and pass by again. i got more concerned once i started paying attention to what they were saying. it seemed the one driving was more excited and the pillion one was not. he had been busy texting. i could hear stuff like, “ki tight figure banra”, “mai gulo ki thatiye achhe, amaar haate fit hoye jaabe bol”, “oi pod ta ki dulchhe shala”, along with a little whistling, and making the bike growl and what not. last time they passed me before stopping their bike before a signal which was green, i heard one of them asked the other to ask me for a ride and i can sit in the middle of them two.

i missed having a cigarette in my hand. i’m not new to these comments. in most scenarios i pay no heed to them. but this is different, i’m alone, and i wouldn’t be able to do anything if they approached me. not like having a cigarette would solve the issue, but in my experience men prefers to not approach women who smoke openly for soliciting, they want us to smoke in the bedroom, not in public. i have previously made a habit of walking while smoking for precisely this reason.

before i could finish thinking what i would reply if they do become persistent about giving me a lift, one more bike with three more men came and joined them and an argument ensued. the bikers from the new bikes started hurling abuses to the driver of the first bike. “jekhani jabi sudhu magibaji”, “sobsomoye nongrami koraar dhanda”, “chup chaap onnoder disturb kora bondho kor, amader saathe chol.” the dude tried to say stuff like, “tora erokom keno korchhis? amar ta ami bujhe nebo”

at this point i crossed them, crossed the road, and was out of earshot. i couldn’t hear what they were talking about anymore. i know it was about me because i was the only woman in the road, there were a few more drunk uncles scattered around the road, minding their own business, drunk out of their mind. after i crossed the crossing, i have automatically started strutting, i couldn’t breathe, i couldn’t see anything around me anymore. i didn’t even realise when i started running, until the next day when a local neighbour asked me why i was running back home last night.

i wasn’t touched. i wasn’t slapped on my butt. i wasn’t dragged by my hand. i wasn’t felt up by groups of men. i wasn’t elbowed. which, in the four years i have been living in kolkata has happened multiple times except the year i shaved my head and became a shut in.

but i haven’t felt terror like this in years, since i got sexually assaulted in a taxi in last year february. i just couldn’t make it stop and get out. i felt helpless then as i felt utterly hopeless now. may be it is because of how things are right now. i think it’s kinda funny how if i die tomorrow on the road while sucking a dick or just because i chose to walk home at night, the people who would be in the forefront of the protests would be some of the people who had touched me up, or made me unwelcome in their space, or even actively tried to hamper my livelihood. i think it makes me lose hope in the world a bit. i think it makes me question all the work i am doing. and the absolute terror that i talk so much about this community, yet if something to happen to me at late night, almost no one would be available for help.

when i was doing the mental health workshop in chiang mai, i had a small breakdown in front of the facilitator as i was telling her how i am not built for the cities. when i got back to my home, all i could think about was how i can’t wait to run away from here. never to come back, never to talk to anyone i have known here, as i cried and cried and cried till it was almost morning.

you know, i tell myself it wasn’t as bad as some of the things i had to go through, they didn’t even touch me. it was just a possibility that thankfully didn’t come to pass. but for me and many like me, things like this will keep happening, and more often than not, more than we care to agree, or to accept ourselves, these possibilities will get realised and many of them will get escalated.

i’m tired. i’m honestly exhausted. i am at my wits end. i am lonely. i don’t got energy to write fun stuff. you all who are happy please go on write romantic stuff. i’m only gonna say what pops up in my head.

“অমর কাব্য তোমরা লিখিও বন্ধু যাহারা আছো সুখে”

The problem isn’t the name of the institution (school, college, company, non profit, home,...). It is how almost all spaces are structured hierarchically. With the power to oppress, to violate, to dominate being assigned to specific posts/status. We need to imagine new configurations for our lives, our work, workplaces. Where we are not dominated and bullied nor do we dominate and bully others. Bullying is not just commonplace amongst school/college students, grown ups in positions of power are bullying openly, harming people and careers, and preventing work because of their stupidity, arrogance, pettiness, and spite.

We need to learn to see how power operates. How it sustains and reproduces oppressive structures.

Of course, the colour, the plumpness, the pressure...the give. But beyond analysis, is a feeling of knowing. I just know. Or, at least, I feel that I just know. Sometimes I am wrong.

How do you?