unfettered thoughts

So, All this rain had made my life a little difficult. I now understand why people don’t like their kitchen with a windows. The rain comes in. It would not have been a problem if I have not been using induction cookers. As an adhd girlie I do forget about things, so induction makes the most sense to me. It has a timer so I don’t have to worry about running the gas.

Both my induction cooker went bad due to short circuiting. The water got on, and I did not realise. So I was forced to cook in my instant pot. I was trying to get some services locally itself. My logic is simple, I want to support local businesses over casteist companies that takes insane amount of cut from the service providers.

I went to the market and asked around. This sweet old man with a paan goomti directed me towards Suman, an induction repair man in the para. How the local businesses work is, they either come collect from home, or we drop it off in their shop. Suman insisted he can come take it from my home. I agreed, it was convenient.

Suman came, took both my induction, and after that tried being touchy with me. Held my arms, pressed it around, I said no. He said as an excuse that he is a family man, and he does this as a joke. No harm done. I chose to believe him. But I said firmly again that I do not like to be touched. He asked for an advance and I paid 1000 rupees for it. I needed urgent repair and he promised to fix at least my prestige one (2000 INR in value) within three hours.

And he did. I gave the induction at around 8:30 am in the morning and He delivered a repaired induction by 12:30 pm on the same day. He asked for an extra 200 rupees and some advance for my other one, A Phillips one (5000 INR in value). I paid another 1000 rupees for the same. At this point he tried to initiate more touching. Touched my cheeks and chin and also my chest, which I rebuffed. I said again that I do not want to be touched. He then proceeded to ask about what I do, whether I make “films”, do I live anlone, and whether I have a boyfriend. He also said that he liked me. I refused to talk about my work, and said that me having a partener is none of his business, and I need the induction repaired. If he can’t do that, he can just return me the induction.

I really thought the problem would solve by this. One more repair, and I should be done with him. But He kept calling me about how he likes me and wants to come over sometimes to talk and be friends. I kept saying no. Then he said that the repair for the other induction would take 2200 INR above what I have already paid. And I denied. I could buy another induction with that money, albeit not as sophisticated as the Phillips one which has lasted me over 8 years. For me the induction has given enough service and I am not sentimental enough to try to fix it once more.

He would not take no for an answer. I have had multiple calls trying to refuse the service and his advancement of coming over to discuss the issue. I live in an apartment building with three floors with one flat in each floor. I live in the top floor, the middle is occupied by my landlady who is in her seventies and was out of Kolkata for the week. The lower flat was also rented out to two trans girls, who were also out of station for the weekend. I did not feel safe alone in the apartment. I went to a friend’s house, and due to some emerging work, I decided to stay over at hers. The next day morning I also had a full blown argument with the repair man, and I said that I don’t want the induction back, and he can keep it.

I did return to my apartment that day. Another friend also came over to keep me company, I did not tell her the whole story, but I did invite her, and I was a lot more secure in nosing that I am not alone. The next day morning. He kept calling so I, in a move of desperation, blocked his number.

Early next day I went to visit the old uncle in the goomty who referred me to him. For almost half an hour, I explained in detail to him and quite a few other shop owners there and some interested old men who hang around the shop about my ordeal. I have gotten agitated and raised my voice as well, and all they said is they will see to it.

Next day my landlady returned, with quite a few more extra members. So I was feeling quite more safer but there was a dread going on in the back of my head. He came over at around 11 am in the morning and just handed over the unrepaired induction. He also mumbled about working in the para and not wanting his reputation ruined. I did not let him in, did not open the door fully, and just took the induction in.

I later visited the uncle in the goomty and he confirmed that he and few other shopkeepers have cornered him, and gave him an earful about being “modest” and “professional”. I did not ask for details, and I was just glad the ordeal was seemingly over. They also asked me how much I paid, and whether they should ask him to return the extra 800 INR I paid. I said no. To me, the money was fair pay. Regardless of his behaviour, he did collect and deliver the cookers to and from my home, and I am happy to pay fees for a diagnostics. I do not care if the standard market rate is much less. I do want to pay fair labour wages, and that should not be discounted for harassment. And also, he is not going to be Richie rich by getting a few extra hundreds. My peace of mind was worth more than few bucks. The uncles did not say anything to my argument, just nodded their heads.

I am still kinda scared. I did not used to lock my door when going out to the market, but now I do. I do not wanna be surprised in my own home. I do not wanna feel powerless and unsafe in my own home. But I feel secure knowing that I can raise a voice in the para, and I will be heard.

I also think me going public in the local para and engaging in behaviour commonly associated with Hijda people (being loud and demanding solution in no abstract terms) helped me out. We trans women draw power from the Hijda people even if we are alone.

I also wanna mention that in India, according to NCRB database, more than 96% of reported sexual harassment and violation is perpetrated by people known to the victim. This issue is one of the rare cases that falls in the 4% of unknown people. In my personal experience so far, almost all sexual harassments I have faced, which went much further than this was almost always by people known to me, and in a few rare occasions, it was by a date or a client.

This is me putting my thoughts out in writing as a way to process this. Hopefully, my experience in this house and para stays u eventful in the future, because I really really like both the house and the para. Everyone calls me didi and gives me discounts in the market. This is the first bad incident and behaviour I have faced since I moved in April.